I know some of you have been asking me to hurry and make this post. Do forgive me! It's nearing the end of academic year at my school, so I have to prepare the exam paper and bark at my students to study hard(er).

Right now I'm on the 51st day of dieting, and so far I have lost approximately 12.5 kg (27 lbs), shrunk down my clothes size (now my old clothes are too big and my underwear always slips down whenever I run lol). Oh, and I believe I have said that my skin complexion is so much better now. I never get severe acne (unless when I'm having PMS, but most of the time I got only small bumps) and...! My armpit smells better LOL.




If you think the physical change is good enough, wait til you hear my mental condition (lololol). Mum claimed that she saw me all jubilant, much more friendlier and positive. And I kinda agree! Aside of the mental torture of not being able to shop skincare and whatever products, I'm doing so much better. In fact, I don't think I'd need expensive skincare products anymore, since my skin is doing great as it is.

And as you could see on my pre-diet journey, I could say that going to this place is the best thing could ever happen in my life. The place that ever changed my life forever. Where issat!?


I was instructed just to go to this place. Thus I did. Out of desperation. I just remembered my mom saying, "Just go find the doctor in Siloam Hospital," and I was like:



Then I called my mum again to make sure this time she gave me the name of the street where it's located.

I had no idea where to find the nutritionist, though.

At the lobby, I just asked around where the diet doctor was lol. One lady pointed to the elevator and urged me to go to the 19th floor. And I was greeted by a very nice atmosphere of this floor--if that makes any sense at all!?


I stepped to the registration counter and asked for an appointment with the nutritionist. Since I wasn't yet their patient, I had to fill in some basic information. They gave me a patient's folder in which there was a visit date and *flinch* the weight track record. Then they checked my blood pressure (120/80, yay) and ushered me to the weighing room.




Since the scale is dead accurate, I was asked to take off my clothes, but I can still have my underwear on, though. I was very insecure to have someone know about my weight, but I thought that day was the day of liberation of the fat colonialism, I had to be honest about it.

The scale showed that I weighed 90.1 kg (198.6 lbs)--the heaviest weight I ever had in my life! And I thought that was that, but noooo. Further investigation was carried out. You see the thick cable-like thing dangling under the monitor just on the left and the right side? The nurse asked me to hold each in my hand and stretch out as far as I could. Then I had to hold it in a few seconds. She told me that was the tool to measure my fat level on each arm *yikes!*.

After the awkward yet thorough investigation, I was asked to wait in the receptionist area, waiting for my name to be called.


Lol I almost jumped when I heard my name called. They asked me to go to room 1--the place which my nutritionist resides--

I'm pretty sure that with a friendly smile could pacify a crying baby, right? *somehow he reminds me a lot to Mario Teguh* Well, it didn't happen to me lol. I think I came there with a very gloomy expression. I mean, I even gave up with myself. Especially when I reflected back how I have tried everything yet nothing works!

On the other hand, though, the doctor just calmly looked over my files. I saw his eyebrows raised, probably at my weight and BMI level. He started to ask a bunch of questions and here are the ones that I could remember on the top of my head.

"What are your activities?"

"What is the cause of your obesity?"

"What do you usually eat?"

I answered each question shortly, I just talked and shared how I felt being a big woman. I think I almost cried too LOL so emotional aaaaah. I told him I felt so stressed out since I work from morning til night and find no time for exercise. I told him I was scared to go on a diet since that would make me weak and couldn't concentrate at work. More and more excuses ensued, then finally--I told him that I almost gave up!

When I said about the hope I lost, he cut in immediately. As cliche as this sounds, he said I shouldn't give up. Suddenly he played with this yellow lump on his desk:


I asked him, "What's that, doc?!" he simply said, "It's a 500 gram fat." EW WHAT THE--


As disgusted as I felt, I couldn't help but poking it though. Bewildered, I asked again "Is this real?" Calmly he nodded, "As real as it can be." That thing is in me? Oh puke.

Doc: "Roma, I'm about to let you know something. I want you to listen carefully."

Me: "Yes?"

Doc: "You should know that you are in a very serious matter here."

Me: "Yes..."

Doc: "With your current height, you should lose 26 kg (57 lbs) from your body."

Me: (...ugh.)

Doc: "Moreover, we're Asians. And since you weigh so much, even our BMI chart could not place your weight in the heaviest class."

Me: (........ffff.)

Doc: "See the fat here?" he pointed at the freaking fat. "This is called as visceral fat. And this abnormal fat wrapped around your intestines. If it squeezed your liver, you could have risked your health. It will complicate everything up, even from that only, you could get diabetes, heart-attack, high-blood pressure and so on."

Honestly, I've never seen it that way. I saw many plus-sized women out there. The hot looking, beautiful, seemingly happy big women. And to me, they looked just fine. "T-then, what to do?"

Doc: "Don't worry. Luckily we have a natural burner. A... metaphorical 'stove', if I may say."

Me: "Which is...?"

Doc: "Our muscle."

Me: "Oh."

Doc: "As we exercise, our muscle will help burn away the fat. Especially that abnormal fat around your internal organs. That is the only way."

I know I was about to protest and dished out my most famous excuse: I have no time to exercise!


Doc: "I'm only showing you the way of healthy life. It's your choice whether to take it or leave it," he freaking smiled. "But I can guarantee you, if you follow my instructions obediently, you will at least lose 1 kg (2 lbs) per week."


He smiled again. "You can do it!"


If you think I am offended by the conversation we had, you are absolutely wrong. I like him. I like him a lot. He's realistic; he didn't promise me some dramatic changes will happen. He simply said, "1 kg (2 lbs) will be lost every week," and he asked for my full-cooperation.

I just looked up on google 'how fat looks like inside body'. Let me tell ya, this is not a pretty sight:





And if you think that 1 kg (2 lbs) is too small in amount, let me show you the picture of real-life 1 kg fat:



So, after a long silence. I finally agreed. I wasn't THAT positive, mind you. But I thought, this would be my final resort. My last shot. My last attempt. And I told the doctor that. Apparently he knew what I was thinking, yeah? As if reading my mind he said, "NO IFS. You can do it."


He then gave me the diet menu I should follow and the exercise I should do. Aaaaand, I shall share those on the next post since this post could be the longest post I ever wrote gaaah. (I hate tl;dr posts lol.) Stay tuned, diet-seekers!